babysteps....

Babysteps.... we are on the road to recovery,
It aint easy to get up and pick you up,
To lead us out of this misery,
My heart refuses to beat, my mind refusing to believe this cruelty,
I'm scared and confused, your confessions I dont want to hear,
Dont want no regrets, no tears, no stains on these beautiful 7 years.



Babysteps... I am trying to believe there's nothing wrong with me,
But what do I lack that drove you away to seek,
Guilty comfort in her arms, why is it that you couldn't break free,
What did she have that your "self" you couldnt see,
How unfaithful and disloyal and heartless can you be,
Breathing sins for a moment of desire, is this your reality.



Babysteps... I am learning to live again,
Don't know where to start, don't know how to begin,
Picking up the shards of our lives, no matter how much it pains,
We have to undo your betrayal, so much of trust we have to regain,
I am not giving up on us, or at least I'm gonna die tryin',
Our journey made of many years of many moments cannot come to an end.



Babysteps.... this too we will get through,
Don't worry honey, nightmares sometimes do come true,
Though it weakens me, I still want to hold and protect you,
From the shame and shock that is creeping upon you,
Lets walk down the aisle into the life we once knew,
Lets stand at the alter, and mean it this time when we say "I do."

I don't even......

I see you walkin with someone else,
after your walked out on me for the hundreth time,
Tucking her hair behind her ear,
like you always did mine,
When we passed and our arms brushed,
chills ran up my spine,
You pretended like you didnt know me,
like nothin has happened between you and I,
After you left, I hvn't been the same,
Here you are actin like you dont even know my name.


You think I'll neva get over you,
but babe, alot has changed,
When you broke my broken heart,
I knew for you this was just a game,
Now you are nothin but a pretty face,
that I keep behind a broken frame,
The next time that we meet,
I'll pretend that I dont even know your name...


The corner that we met,
it ain't special, ain't nothin but a place to forget,
The way we kissed,
I can still taste you on my lips,
Thought you're not the kind to hurt,
nothin could be more further from the truth,
But someday soon, sooner than soon,
I am sure I won't even remember your name.


A man like you and your kind,
deserve to be kept totally, completely outta my mind,
You act like you have achieved somethin',
not looking back at the pieces that you leave behind,
Trust me babe, one day you'd lose at your own game,
you would join me in the heartbreak's hall of fame,
Till then I'm gonna tell my heart and everyone else that,
That I dont even know your name.... ;-)

soul-ed out......

I stood on the ground, with flowers at my feet. Cursing you for loving me and cursing you for leaving me.
For showing me glimpses of what we could be. Telling me happiness is our destiny. Promising me things that I would rather not believe. Letting me dream a dream that would never be our reality. Making me wish for things, that you'd never fulfill. So much of lies that I could not foresee.


I stood on the ground, with wet grass under my feet.
Cursing you for our short life and cursing the promises that you have forgotten. You said that we will survive when everyone said that we wouldn't. You made me laugh when I thought I couldn't. Forgave my sins, my past and it's ugliness that I had hidden.


I knelt down on the ground, with gravel biting into my skin. Cursing you for making me want you, cursing you for making me finally feel. I hated how you saw the good in me. I hated that you saw beauty in the ugly in me. I hate that you did let go of me. I hated everything that wasn't what it should be.
Your promise that wasn't...
My dream that wasn't...
Our life that wasn't....
Letting me disappear into the nothingness, my life you have stolen.


Most of all, I hate to see you kneeling there placing flowers at my feet, letting the moist grass wet ur knees, letting the gravel bite into your skin. I hate to see you weep, to hear your cry.... as your hot tears seep through this cold earth coz they burn me so, so deep.


I lie down here, soul-ed out and I'm so empty, in my cold silent ground six feet beneath . Cursing me for being me and cursing me for leaving you, all that you are and all that we will never be.....